Little Miss and Little Emperor

Today is Children’s Day. And China takes this very seriously. Driving through the streets of Beijing, I noticed any number of little girls dressed in fairy princess dresses with full tulle skirts in an array of pastel colours.

Here, indeed, I thought were China’s “Little Emperors” – the only children that make up an entire generation of what, sadly, I can only describe as spoilt brats.

I spent the entire morning with a "only child" stereotype. It was an eye-opening experience. My intention was to interview her extremely wealthy father. I had not expected the added bonus of a Little Miss skipping in and out of the room in her pink and white slides decorated with Barbie on the toes in search of her father’s attention.

She had little difficulty grabbing that attention. No, she would not leave daddy alone to answer questions and instead climbed onto his lap. No, she would not take drinks over to his guests. No, she would not stop chattering to daddy even though he said he was busy. And her father made no attempt to enforce his orders.

Finally, the six-year-old miss was ready for lunch. The driver was summoned, we all climbed into a large four-wheel drive vehicle and headed for a smart city restaurant. The young lady sat in front on daddy’s lap, then decided to climb into the back, But that was no fun so better far to sit in the middle of the front seat and watch the unusual foreign guest while gathered in the crook of her father’s arm.

Her father clearly adored her. The middle-aged millionaire sliced up her lunch but looked almost abashed when she refused to eat. The driver was dispatched to collect her medicine from the car and this was then carefully dispensed to Little Miss. She was almost too busy being petted by the waitresses to attend to daddy’s ministrations.

Time out here to mention the waitress-child dynamic. Take a young child into a Chinese restaurant and service will be swift, the infant removed to be the centre of attention among the female staff while harried parents can eat their meal uninterrupted. I confess I don’t have an attention-getter of my own but have watched other parents relish the peace afforded by such moments.

Mine genial host fell into the classic “one-couple, one-child” parent genre . His daughter could be rude, self-centred, demanding and generally expect to be the centre of attention and he would smile indulgently. No surprise there. In China, Little Miss is the rule rather than the exception. Asked to say goodbey to her father's guests, she pouted in a gesture worthy of a coquette more than triple her age.

China has 100 million Little Emperors, doted on by their parents and spoiled by two besotted sets of grandparents. It’s a recipe for selfishness, bad manners and obesity.

As one Chinese editor wrote: China's children are growing up "self-centered, narrow-minded, and incapable of accepting criticism".

How will they behave as adults? Already the first generation born under a draconian birth control policy enforced since 1979 has reached maturity. It’s not too hard to notice that their behaviour is often selfish. And how can they help it after all?

Chinese President Hu Jintao made a carefully calibrated political statement to mark Children’s Day. He visited a handicapped child.

Last year, his choice of publicity event was slightly more in the communist style. Lots of happy children and plenty of song and dance.

The shift in emphasis would indicate that perhaps China"s leaders are really starting to worry about the future of a country in the hands of a generation of spoilt Little Misses and Little Emperors.

Comments

[Peter Athey]

My wife is an independent tourist-guide here in France, and over the last 4 or 5 years she has noticed that American and Japanese visitors have been replaced by increasing numbers of Chinese Tourists who are doing the same European 'grand tour' that every other charter group does - vis: if it's Tuesday it must be Rome; Friday, it must be Paris etc etc.

However there is one thing that separates them from all the others visitors. Whereas most other nationalities like to be photographed against a backgdrop of national monuments such as the Eiffel Tower or the Château de Versailles etc, the Chinese invariably want to be photographed surrounded by groups of children. Whenever there is a busload of schoolkids parked near one of the main attractions, the Chinese visitors will brazenly walk up to the milling throng and get their co-travellers to snap away at the entire group with the interlopers slap bang in the middle of the frame surrounded by a bunch of young, albeit complete strangers. Invariably, the tourists look dewey-eyed at the towsled heads who seem totally unaware of their rarity value to the chinese psyche.

Finally, once they have satisfied their craving for the proximity of kids they all pile back on board the bus and head for the Louis Vuitton flagship store to stock up on the genuine article rather than a counterfeit copy that was probably manufactured in their own home town.

[Bryan Johnson]

Living in Shanghai, I too have sadly seen the growing tendency towards obese children in one child families. Each child has two parents and four grandparents. Often it is the grandparents who will pick up the child from school arriving with tupperware boxes of goodies. The grandparents -often smaller than the child- will then proceed to carry the childs bags whilst the infant gorges itself. Another familar sight is the familly in the restaurant with the 6 adults taking turns to feed the single "buddah".
Even when the child then procedes to be sick everywhere the family will calmy continue to eat as though nothing has happened, until a cleaner is found to come and mop the floor.

[James Wong]

If my memorty is correct, the one-child policy became law only in 1982, after Deng had had a firm grip of power. It is while you are in Beijing, or in other affluent cities along the coast, then you will have close encounter with the 'princes and princesses. Other than that, a lot of families in the country are still struggling to have their ends met. It seems you have been over-reporting China's new-found wealth and it may not correctly reflect reality.

[Detlef von Berg]

You should make clear that being an only child isn't the root problem here. Instead of just complaining about the children's behaviour, you should examine the cause of the problem, which is, of course, poor parenting. If people who spoil and mistreat children could have more, the situation would be largely the same (as it is in the UK).

[Hannah Patterson]

I found this article extremely depressing. As a mother of an only child, I am careful not to spoil my son. I do worry that he is indulged. However, from an early age he attended toddler groups and then nursery, where he learnt to socialise and share with children his own age. I admit that he does get more toys than if he had siblings, but we certainly don't let him get away with murder.

How chilling to think of the next generation of people living in China - spoilt, selfish, inconsiderate and ill mannered. Very worrying.

[Nick McGine]

I live and work in Wuhan, China. My wife and stepdaughter are Chinese, hence, I have a (large, extended) Chinese family. Our daughter lives with her paternal grandmother, yet displays none of the traits described in the article. If she comes anywhere near to being selfish, my wife puts her very firmly in her place. We are immensely proud of her. Our niece's daughter, however, is verging on obese, fed constantly and forever being pandered to. As soon as she is brought outside, it seems that neighbours feel compelled to make a show of adoring her. When I tell my sister-in-law that she is dangerously overweight, she gives the time-honoured reply,'Zenme ban?": What can one do?' That's the crux of Chinese society: Conformity, doing what is expected of you. So, my 'granddaughter' will have a life of weight problems and - quite likely - a premature death, so that the family can save face.

[yingbao Liu]

the one-child policy is the better one from several bad choices. and the negative effect are emerging, like grey ageing, the child selfish.a lot of problem.

the visit by hu jintao to a nursery school for handicapped children is for the purpose,to pay more attention to the people with hard life.

I read a lot of your blog, you are staying in beijing, me too, china has many year's history, and changing very slowly, some area even worsing, thank you so much for caring china so eagerly.

I hope to read more and more article from you.