How to feed foreigners, French-style

 

Don't remind the British and the Americans that their meat comes from animals and be friendly when you serve them. The tip comes in a brochure for French restaurateurs that has just been issued by the Ministry of Tourism for the Rugby World Cup.

In advising how to deal with foreigners, the booklet, updated from a 2003 version, is not only a handy guide to national habits but also a useful mirror for the French hospitality industry.

Among the meal-time dislikes of nearly all the main visiting nationalities are unfriendly service, "French ethnocentrism", poor hygiene and undercooked meat. Foreigners are also turned off by the quantity of butter and fat in French food, it says. The information was drawn from surveys of foreign visitors. 

When dealing with Dutch tourists, "pay attention to the cleanliness of your premises and personnel. French hygiene rules are not strict enough to their taste," it says.

With all foreigners, French restaurateurs are advised to explain when a dish comes from offal or includes meat with blood still visible.  "Americans like their meat de-animalised," it says. "Its origin with a living animal must not be visible. Offal dishes, frogs' legs and snails disgust them. Nevertheless certain adventurous Americans like to try them out."

Americans spend all day eating -- ingesting food on 20 different occasions -- and they are obsessed with not getting fat, the Ministry tells the restaurateurs.

But it advises them to forget their clichés about Americans being devoted to hamburgers and French fries. "American tourists in France come from a high social level and they like to visit and tour regions that are rich with history. They are very open and enthusiastic people who appreciate conviviality and personalised service."

This is what the ministry says about the British. "The French consider the British to be reserved, haughty and cold people who have no culinary knowledge and cook everything in water. Far from that caricature, the British have a long culinary history and they are a people who are fond of exotic products and ethnic cuisines. Their cooking has been enriched by that of their former colonies."

That is fine, but they rather contradict themselves in another passage:
   
"Founded on the eating habits of the masses, British cooking is simple and based on left-overs. The emblematic dishes are pies, puddings and dumplings (based on flour and animal fat)"

The explanation of British table manners sounds as if they might have missed a century. "The British respect the rules of etiquette. The children are not allowed to speak. Elbows must not be put on the table. Table manners are an institution."

Here are the main things that the Brits do not like about eating in France, according to the ministry's polls.

-- Lack of vegetables with dishes
-- Meat not cooked enough
-- French ethnocentrism (they resent their national cuisine being criticised)
-- French gastronomy is linked to pointless cooking: a lot of talk about nothing
-- Lack of friendliness from serving personnel
-- Bad table manners
-- Too much smoking

As usual when we get into this French-bashing territory, it's worth noting that France remains the world's most popular destination for tourists.

Comments

[Fabien Schilling]

I'm from the east of France where we like sausages and choucroute more than raw meat. But it's still meat. There is obviously a problem with the nordic/northern countries now having ethical qualms about consuming animals. So they would prefer to enjoy their steak believing that it was not walking around a field last month.

[Robert Marchenoir]

"The British respect the rules of etiquette. The children are not allowed to speak. Elbows must not be put on the table. Table manners are an institution."

Table? What table? It seems that a vast number of British have not had a meal round a table at home for decades.

This must have been lifted from a travel guide hand-painted on papyrus.

I suppose the French department of Tourism communicates with the French embassy in London through smoke signals. That might explain the misunderstanding.

[rocket]

You can't change the menu in every restaurant in France to please the tourists. I don't understand why this pedantic pamphlet didn't just stick to pounding into the French waiters/waitresses to smile, be nice and don't make fun of the customers.

PS - I prefer to eat bloody meat rather than shoe leather cooked to death. But I eat meat in moderation. Once a month. The best piece of beef I ever had was at the Salon de l'agriculture from Limousin cattle. Yummy, Yummy Yummy!

Ate a place called Lawry's in Las Vegas a couple of years back and the prime rib was delicious.

http://www.lawrysonline.com/theprimerib_lasvegas_gen_info.asp

Now, As a typical American as described by the pamphlet, I'm hungry just talking about all this so I will make 20th trip to the fridge today.

[Monika]

and as a typical German I am going to swallow down my 20th sausage and emptying my 30th beer of today.

Loool.

How many times I had to hear.
"Ah ! T'es Allemande ! Aaaah, les saucisses. ... T'es de la Bavière ?! Aaaah, la fête de la bière !"

Ouf! Ils ont encore beaucoup à apprendre. Même si la cuisine allemande n'est pas aussi rafinée que celle de la France, elle est bien diversifiée et chaque région a ses plats traditionnels qui ne se resume pas uniquement en saucisse ...

mais bon, quoi d'attendre des gens qui ne s'interessent pas vraiement en leurs voisins ...

[terry]

"As usual when we get into this French-bashing territory"

I am usually game for such a challenge. But I dont think this is fertile ground in this case. My dining experiences were pleasant, albeit unduly expensive. The service was pretty good. However, the food did tend to be undercooked. Not the beef. But the chicken and the scrambled eggs.

It is somewhat amusing to me that a French bureaucrat, who probably never worked in a restaurant, is telling restaurant owners how to run their business. Another wonderful example of the paternalism of the state, which always knows best. I am sure these owners have had foreigners in their restaurants before and know what their foreign customers want and not want. If they want the tourists' business, they will act accordingly. They do not need some bureaucrat telling them what they already know.

That said, Mr. French Bureaucrat is correct that we Americans do not want to be reminded that we are eating flesh. Steaks medium rare, but not bloody. We certainly don't like snails, frogs or other reptiles. Nor are we fond of brains, tripe and innards that you Europeans are so fond of. (Well, perhaps, some chopped chicken liver now and then.) We don't want blood in our pudding. You can forget Charles' favorite dish, a traditional haggis. I hope I didn't ruin your appetite, Rocket.

Here's where Mr. Bureaucrat got it wrong:

"Foreigners are also turned off by the quantity of butter and fat in French food, it says."

As an American, I looked forward to the quantity of butter and fat in French food before my visit. And I was not disappointed. I don't know where he got this idea from about Americans. My grandma cooked EVERYTHING in bacon fat. Those were the days.

[Pierre Bernardi]

Frogs are amphibians. But for the tang of urine on your palate see Joyce in Ulysses. You'll find haggis at the Auld Alliance, near St Paul in the Marais.

[Monika]

Obviously it should have been:
"...bien diversifiée et chaque région a ses plats traditionnels qui ne se resumeNT pas uniquement en saucisse ..."

(still have some difficulties with declinations that are not pronounced)

That is I love French food with the exception that indeed I don't like meat too little cooked. Anyhow imho the best thing in a French dish with meat is the sauce ! Unfortunately they serve it only in very little quantity ...

[Tara_Lane]

I have a smallish personal story that will certainly illustrate my American-ness, per this brochure's opinions.

My husband and I frequented a French restaurant when we lived in California called Claude and Dominique's. Claude, the husband, was the chef, and Dominique was his wife and hostess. The establishment was small but charming and always bustling with business.

We decided one Christmas Eve to have our dinner there before going to a midnight church service. As we ordered, I told the waiter (also French) to decide for me...but NOT to tell me what I was eating. He laughed, not unkindly, and said he would do his best since I was feeling adventurous.

Well, no one told the poor busboy who delivered the food. Upon arriving at the table, he said, "How brave of you, madame! You have chosen the cow thyroid, and you have chosen well!"

My husband couldn't stop laughing at the look on my face. Count me among those (cowardly) American masses who have trouble connecting what we eat with where it comes from (and yes, my farmer ancestors would be mortified by me, I'm sure.)

[Dominique]

I was so naïve.... i thought foreigners came to France to discover what France was about....

The tourism industry lobby, witch is smarter than i am, thinks that they come to France for feeling like if they were home...

The next message will try to explain us that we should move the country abroad in order to have foreigners avoid the unpleasant trip, switch our language to english in order to have tourists understand what we are talking about (already a lot of pressure regarding this one..the french are so arrogant, they speak french!) and stop eating red meet ...

[Daniel Strohl]

Terry,

"They do not need some bureaucrat telling them what they already know."

Yes, but some (or many ?) restaurant owners are not real professionals, and their cooks are not always any better. Some advice may help them ...

Furthermore, it would be useful for them and even more for their foreign customers to have their menus translated at least in English - this is not always the case.

[Mercurio]

Monika, il semblerait que les généralités abusives s'appliquent au sein même des pays, entre les régions : j'ai un ami allemand, mais du Schleswig-Holstein, et je n'ai jamais entendu de mots aussi durs envers les Bavarois que de sa bouche.

[Robert Marchenoir]

"If they want the tourists' business, they will act accordingly."

Hahaha! Charming American candor! Obviously, Terry, your French visit was too short for you to realize that ordinary economic rules do not apply here.

The tourist industry does not really want the tourists' business. Nor does the service industry really wants customers. Or they try very hard to pretend they do not. Or they take great care not to generate too much cash. Whatever.

Welcome to the country of the reluctant businessman, who is not really that much into it.

[richard jones]

Poor old France! Trying to be international in a domain where it is certainly in the top two or three European exponents of culinary delights and still criticised.
If no 'respect foreigners wishes' France is nombrilist and arrogant.
When France tries to be diligent they are termed patronising.
This whole thing should be treated with a chuckle more like 'Hoffnung's Dolomite tourist infirmation' or those wonderful English transcriptions in Greek taverna menus et al.

[peter kinsley www.peterkinsley.com]

Some years ago one of the best small restos in Nice, run by an elderly couple, closed throughout August. They ran for the hills to escape the madding crowd. The Pharmacy in that month did good business with a little bottle with the label DIARRHOEA, sold to British tourists unaccustomed to the dressing on a salade Nicoise etc., wearing the same pained expressions as those on the faces of American film producers at the Cannes film festival, running through hotels or their terraces calling: "Where's the John?"

[Claudia]

French cuisine is appreciated all over the world.Why do you want to change it into a mondialist food?We like our meat raw.Try something else.When I go abroad I try what is typical of the country without complaining.

[Maggie Millington]

What I can never understand about French ' cusine ' is the boring way it has doggedly stuck to it's roots !
Why have they never taken on the huge variety of cooking from their Empire days ? why are there no national branches of Vietnamese resturants ? where are the Creole type dishes in resturants ?
Spices are used in some dishes but barely noticeable.
Living in Brittany [ northwest ] it is French, French or French style cooking. Why has this not not developed more ?
For those who eat out a lot it becomes pretty boring.
This is the opposite of the British attitude where, walking down any street, will give you a choice of eating from a number of different countries cooking styles.

[Lilly]

(@William): A key word in Postman's writings is "manipulation". The German Chancellor is fully aware that the French President's approach is result-oriented. If she was any other than "cautious/wooden" she wouldn't remain in power. "Cautious" sounds like scared. Don't think she's cautious out of fear. She keeps up some reasonable distance, a barrier. The French President makes every effort to vanquish it.

Manipulation is what politics is all about, isn't it?

[Dominique]

Maggie,

I am afraid you are sticking to stereotypes. Have you been to France once? Don't stay in Brittany where people stick to their "breton" identity.

Living in Brittany in France is like living in northern scotland in the UK. Of couse, few chineese restaurant there...but lot's of creperies, that are not found in the rest of the country.

I feel like Maggy wishes that entire France look like Paris or London. Maggie, you should accept diversity and refuse uniformism

[Frank Schnittger]

Following complaints to the IRB about the All Blacks being allowed to motivate themselves by performing the ‘Haka’ before their games, other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own. The IRB Rugby World Cup 2007 organizing Committee has now agreed to the following pre-match displays:

1) The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about
how they invented the game and gave it to the world, but no one appreciates them.

2) The Scotland team will chant “You lookin’ at me Jimmy?” before each of them smash a bottle of beer over their opponents’ heads.

3) The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.

4) Unfortunately the Committee was unable to accept the Welsh proposal to form a choir and sing Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual”.

5) Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own “Las In-Goals-Areas” and have to be forcibly removed by the match stewards.

6) Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important than the other 13 whom they will imprison between
the posts. These two will then go about selecting the best parts of the pitch to settle on and claim that they have been there for centuries.

7) The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact
the most important team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a blockbuster fi lm called ‘Saving Flanker Ryan’.

8) Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marseillaise and hold the rest of the team to ransom.

9) The Italian team will arrive in Armani gear, sexually harass the female offi cials and then prepare pasta dishes, which they will flog to the crowd for a fortune.

10) The Japanese will shock fans buy demonstrating how to capture a whale for scientifi c research buy harpooning an opposition prop.

11) The French won’t have a pre-match display and will simply hide in fear in the dressing room for the whole match.

12) The Australians will have a BBQ on their side of the fi eld and invite the opposition over before the game. The food and alcohol
will be in abundance and by the start of the game no-one will remember what they came to the stadium for. After some
streaking, the singing of dirty songs and the occasional chunder everyone will go home thoroughly convinced it was a bloody
good night.

13) The Moroccan team will quietly pray during the fi rst half and then launch suicide attacks against the opposition after the break.
Unfortunately, this strategy works well for the fi rst game only, after which Morocco is forced to withdraw from the Rugby World
Cup due to lack of players.

14) Samoa will prepare a huge feast in the middle of the pitch by digging a large hole and fi lling it with burning embers. They invite
the opposition over by saying, “We’d like to have you for dinner”. It’s only when the opposition get to the pit that they realize there is no meat and that they are the dinner!

[Terry]

This is somewhat painful for me to write. But I must say that I actually agree with Dominique.

I hereby resign from this blog

[Edward Johns]

First rule of marketing "don't sell what you can make, make what you can sell"
Any business person worth his salt will know what the customer wants and do his or her best to provide it. If you have to rely on state advice to run your business, you shouldn't be in business.

[Daniel Strohl]

Dominique,

"I was so naïve.... i thought foreigners came to France to discover what France was about..."

Yes, but it is up to us to help them discover our country in a pleasant way for them. We should not forget that tourism is the sole big industry still around and providing work to many persons in many regions. And if we are still the number one in (European) tourism, we have a very active competition in the south - i.e Italy and Spain, where there are may be less "reluctant businessmen" (Robert) than in our country.

Mercurio,

"et je n'ai jamais entendu de mots aussi durs envers les Bavarois que de sa bouche".

Mais les Bavarois le rendent bien aux Allemands du Nord, qui sont quelquefois qualifiés de "Saupreiss" (cochons de Prussiens) ... Les particularismes régionaux sont plus marqués que chez nous pour des raisons historiques, et il y a sans doute aussi des raisons liées à la religion. Enfin, la Bavière est maintenant une région riche, comparée à d'autres provinces allemandes où l'industrie a décliné.

[rocket]

Daniel

You may be number one in numbers but you ain't number one in expenses. That belongs to Spain.

How do you say.

Just passin' thru

[Dominique]

D.Strohl,

The day we change France, tourists will stop coming.

The day we become "nice & polite", we stop being ourselves.

Why should a waiter in restaurant be nicer with an american than with a regular french customer? Americans should be happy, we treat them like we treat ourselves...

By the way, i never go to the restaurant for being "smiled at". This "service culture" is so hypocrite. Let's accept waiters as they are. Those who complain can take the job!

I like my city that way. Indifference is our way of respecting people. It is politness indeed.

I hate it when someone comes to me in a shoe store and says with a big smile "these shoes suit you so well! this is such a good choice! how can i help you now?" This usually drives me out of the shop. To many smiles make them loose customers!

[Dominique]

Terry,

Sorry for you.

What i say about the food and restaurants also applies to social laws and 35 hours week.

still agreeing with me?

[Lilly]

"I actually agree with Dominique"

Terry, do you feel safe?

[Pierrick]

"The next message will try to explain us that we should [...] switch our language to english in order to have tourists understand what we are talking about (already a lot of pressure regarding this one..the french are so arrogant, they speak french!)"

"Furthermore, it would be useful for them and even more for their foreign customers to have their menus translated at least in English - this is not always the case."

I have been many time to Britain and never I have seen a menu translated in French (The words were maybe in French but nothing to see with a French meal.) In Rome do as the Romans do!

"This is the opposite of the British attitude where, walking down any street, will give you a choice of eating from a number of different countries cooking styles."
We have in France so many different cuisines, why would we change exclusively for our former colonies'? Where are the "gastronomiques" restaurants in Britain? I mean local ones. Every single meal is crossed with Indian, Chinese, etc.I have been told that there is not only roastbeef and Yorkshire pudding or lamb ribs with undercooked vegetables, is that true?

[Lilly]

Tourists come to discover France, French food included. If they don’t like restaurant food, varying from average to the renowned “Grande Table” they will find international food chains throughout France offering what is known to them and at affordable prices. Foreign residents will either appreciate French food or home cook.

There is no point in adapting to foreigners. Everyone around the table can be expected to behave. We talk of grown-ups, don’t we?

I don’t have any active memory of those unfriendly waiters. Could this be a Parisian or tourist resort phenomenon?

[rocket]

Dominique

"I like my city that way. Indifference is our way of respecting people. It is politness indeed."

ROTFL

Like the 14 802 people that the French respected during the heatwave in 2003.

Dominique you do have your moments of genius

[peter kinsley www.peterkinsley.com]

Dominique - suspect imposter blogging in your name. Someone promulgating nastiness in French waiters and waitresses as the norm! Or are you secretly working for the Spanish Tourist Board to attract visitors away from la Belle France? As I said before, tourists must not think Parisiens (and Parisiennes)are being rude to them because they are foreigners -- they are rude to each other. It is a pity that Orwell worked as a plongeur and not as a waiter (too tall?) in "Down and Out in Paris and London", because when I asked (as a curious writer) about waiters' attitudes I discovered that their ambition was to win the lottery or the tierce and then go into a resto and bully the waiters! Furthermore, when I asked a chef if he spat on a steak which had been sent back as "undercooked", he said he did, and when I asked if he spat in the soup he said: "Oh, no, the chef spits on the steak because it is an insult to his cuisine, but he is so busy that he just does not have time to spit in the soup. Of course ... the waiters do!"

[Daniel Strohl]

Dominique,

"The day we become "nice & polite", we stop being ourselves".

As a young boy, I was told by my parents to be "nice and polite". Of course, I didn't always abide strictly to the rule. But at least I have tried ... And 50 or 60 years ago, France had a reputation of politeness and courtesy which has vanished now, if I believe some posts here and personal observations as well.

The problem nowadays is that many youngsters do not receive any education at home (parents 1968 style and the like) - then they go to school, where they get (almost free) diplomas and where they are told by many - not all, of course - teachers that with the diplomas that have got, they are entitled to a given (substantial) salary.

But then in real life, things are different. The jobs they manage to get are less rewarding than expected . Et ils font la gueule et s'emm...

"Why should a waiter in restaurant be nicer with an american than with a regular french customer?"

He should be nice with everybody in his restaurant, including with his regular French customers if he wants to keep them. But if he gets fired by his boss (providing that the boss is able to fire him, which is not granted due to our "social" laws) because he is not doing his job correctly, he does not bother - he will get his "indemnités de chômage" (unemployment subsidies) , paid by the state - which is now broke due to the generalization of this practice - and some other reasons also, of course.

Dominique, you should have a look at the latest post from Rocket and think it over - he says : "You may be number one in numbers but you ain't number one in expenses. That belongs to Spain". There must be reasons for this ...

[Lilly]

As foreign guests in France, we shouldn’t expect our host to adapt to our eating habits. French restaurant owners’ knowledge of their guest’s culinary psyche is an asset, though.

British table manners according to that brochure are indeed outstanding among foreign tourists. Is this because of the widening gap between rich and poor where only the rich can still afford stays abroad whose table manners are presumably superior?

Otherwise the eating habits described seem pretty much accurate. The 20 American meals per day might refer to what you’d call “grignotage” in French (could also be a confusion of “twelve” and “twenty” in the translation).

[terry]

"I actually agree with Dominique"

Terry, do you feel safe?- Lilly

No. Like Javert, I was thinking of all of my past unkind actions to Dominique and contemplated throwing myself into the river.

But Dominique is no Jean Valjean.

As fate goes, Dominique said:

"What i say about the food and restaurants also applies to social laws and 35 hours week.

still agreeing with me?"

I now have a purpose to live.

"also applies to social laws and 35 hours week." All lazy teachers feel this way.

[Robert Marchenoir]

"The day we become "nice & polite", we stop being ourselves."

"Why should a waiter in restaurant be nicer with an American than with a regular french customer? Americans should be happy, we treat them like we treat ourselves..."

"By the way, I never go to the restaurant for being ‘smiled at’. This ‘service culture’ is so hypocrite. Let's accept waiters as they are. Those who complain can take the job!"

(Dominique)

That's what's wonderful with blogs: they show you what people really think.

Now I'm convinced Dominique is not being particularly provocative there, and that he really thinks what he says.

Dominique should be embalmed, and displayed in an controlled atmosphere cabinet in the pavillon de Breteuil, as the quintessential Frenchman / Parisian / French public servant (check whatever applies).

"Politeness is hypocrisy": typical adolescent thinking. However, it usually disappears within a few months, or years at worst. Here, we have the proof that some unfortunate Frenchmen never grow up.

"Those who complain can take the job": the French public servant's worldview in a nutshell. Arrogant, feeling superior, and thinking he is doing a favor to humankind just by doing what he is paid for.

Go on baring your soul, Dominique, so that everybody can see why France is stuck in the doldrums, so that more and more people can see what attitudes are drawing us into the ground (as opposed to which party gets to be elected).

[Lilly]

« I was thinking of all my past unkind actions to Dominique and contemplated throwing myself into the river. » (Terry)

“bring ‘em on” (“fool of a leader”/Arabist)

Terry:

your resignation was a metaphor
and dominique is not al gore
socialism bears its dangers
just don’t forget those from strangers
is this blogosphere a safer place
where no one knows your face

will you jump into the river deep
dominique and every sheep
they will all weep, weep, weep

better condone valjeansen’s motion
the wine that he will share
might well be some bitter lotion
thus let birds (A.) fly free beyond the ocean
neither land early nor too late
on this hospitable gallic state

french teachers (Dominique) are not lazy
they think from dusk to dawn
when you still yawn, yawn, yawn
then they work from dawn till dusk
have all answers never need they ask

where is the castle on a cloud
a little fall of rain
the cloud perceived
will - vanish - soon

…

[querty]

I don't think I've ever had friendlier and more efficient service in a French restaurant than in "Petrus", Place du Maréchal Juin (17th arrondissement). The food is superb as well. Absolutely must be tried out by anyone willing to revise his/her preconceived ideas on French waiters.

[I live a hundred yards from this restaurant and it is certainly excellent -- but also notoriously over-priced. CB]

[Dominique]

"Politeness is hypocrisy".

Of course i did not mean that adult relationships should be unpolite. I quite believe the opposite. The question is : what is polite? what is impolite?

This is exactly why i do not like when shoe seller our restaurant waiter is smilling eventhough he does not mean it. This is not politness neither respect. Regular adult relationships do not need false smiles neither fake sympathy.

Of course, being polite is important. Being overpolite is counterproductive.

D.strohl : i don't quite give a d... if tourists stop coming. More, i actually am very disapointed that we invest in tourism instead of in more usefull things (i could name plenty).

Robert of course i disagree. There is no need of fake smiles between adults. Adults know what they expect from each other. In a restaurant, i expect to have my meal, being able to call the waiter in case of need, pay the bill and that's it. The rest is too much.

On the other way, the typical american way of yelling "ahhhhhhh! you're heeeeeere, how wooooonderull, hiiiiiii" is not very polite to me, but quite intrusive.

What you call "politness" is "being intrusive" to me.

[peter kinsley www.peterkinsley.com]

Should Querty be QWERTY ? Grahame Green used him as a character in a novel: the first six letters on top left hand of keyboard. However "Petrus" in the 17th sounds good, but a little resto in the Orb Valley serves five flavours of sorbet and provides five spoons, so as not to mix the flavours. Beat that!

[Daniel Strohl]

Pierrick,

"I have been many time to Britain and never I have seen a menu translated in French".

Yes, of course. But the UK is not competing to be and to remain the Nr. 1 touristic country in Europe. The British expect their visitors to understand at least basic English - we can not expect everybody, including Chinese, Japanese and other Asians - to understand basic French. And even if they do, they will have problems to understand many menus written in pompous "haute cuisine" French which sometimes even turns into "charabia" that no dictionary or translation machine is able to translate.

Lilly,

"I don’t have any active memory of those unfriendly waiters. Could this be a Parisian or tourist resort phenomenon?"

Yes, in most cases. In smaller towns or villages, people are less stressed and take the time and/or are eager to do their job (waiter in this case) as well as possible. There is also another reason for that : if they loose their job for incompetence or bad will, their chances to get another one are poor. And unemployment subsidies are not ever lasting either.

In Paris or tourist resorts however, there is a big lack of qualified or at least semi-qualified manpower in the restaurant business. Therefore, a restaurant owner will think over twice before firing an incompetent employee - the successor, provided he finds one - could be worse ...

Lilly, your poem is really funny. Sincere compliments.

[qwerty]

Ues... thanx Peter, for my postings on French blogs I use Azerty and have a French keyboard, hence the mistake

[rocket]

Terry, the Phoenix. Reborn from the ashes of agreement with Dominique. We almost lost Terry. Thank God he is back.

[Terry]

Lilly:

I nearly broke a rib with your poem. Technically, not bad either. The poetry I know is not quite as handsome.

There once was a man from Nantucket...

[Terry]

"Dominique should be embalmed, and displayed in an controlled atmosphere cabinet in the pavillon de Breteuil"

Sort of like another socialist we know.

[Robert Marchenoir]

"Regular adult relationships do not need false smiles neither fake sympathy."

Really, Dominique? How genuine is your sympathy when you say "How do you do?" or "Good morning" to perfect strangers you do not have any particular inclination for, you might never see again, or indeed that you instinctively dislike?

Did not your mother teach you that that was the proper way to address people, whether you liked them or not?

When you're a guest for dinner, and the host has gone to considerable lengths to cook you a meal, do you not marvel that the food was delicious, even though it might have been rather unedible?

How fake is that? How genuine? It is fake, because you did not particularly like the food. It is genuine, because you are glad your host has cooked a meal for you, you want to return him a favor, and you know he will be pleased if you express you appreciation for his culinary feats -- even if it is a lie.

Do you really have a genuine interest in people's predicaments when asking them "How do you do?"? How would you react if a perfect stranger, being greeted that way, embarked on a detailed description of his stomach tumour, his divorced wife's wickedness and his trouble with the taxman?

How sorry are you really when you send condolences to a work colleague or an acquaintance you do not particularly like, but who has lost his father or spouse, and you do it because this is just the decent thing to do?

Or do you not do all these things?

Only teenagers think that everybody around is interested in knowing their true feelings about anything and anybody at any given time, because this is more "honest".

The rest of us realize that anyone of us harbours negative feelings towards various people for various reasons, that they are neither justified nor unjustified, and that life would be hell if we allowed ourselves to vent them freely, because everybody would have ample motives to reciprocate.

They realize also that we are in it -- meaning life -- together, and that expressing some degree of systematic sympathy to anyone, including, why not, some smiles, is just a way of conveying that truth, and that life is more pleasant and civilized when this happens, rather that the opposite.

And, to come round to the origin of the discussion, when you are a waiter in a restaurant, the least you can do is being welcoming, nice, kind and helpful to your customers.

This is because of all the reasons I have just stated, plus another, weighty one: they are the ones who pay your wages ultimately, and this certainly warrants some extra sympathy.

So, being grumpy or impolite because your girlfriend has not shagged you properly the night before, or because Sarkozy got elected, or, worse, because you do not particularly like your job, because you think you are so much above what you are doing currently for a living, because you are persuaded you really deserve the Nobel prize for literature, but, unfortunately, nobody has yet noticed -- as, indeed, so many waiters, sales attendants, civil servants and the like do in France --, that is downright despicable.

Naturally, it is precisely because these French waiters, etc, know bloody well that they depend on their customers for a living that they are grumpy to them.

This is petty communism, if you like.

These people think they are revolutionary by being rude to customers.

On a strictly moral ground, I prefer a suicide bomber anytime. He is causing unfathomable grief and suffering for exceedingly stupid reasons, but at least he is putting his life where his mouth is.

Rude waiters are armchair rebels.

[Daniel Strohl]

Dominique,

"D.strohl : i don't quite give a d... if tourists stop coming ..."

Dominique, allow me a personal anecdote, dating may be 12 years back. At that time I had a business friend who had created 15 years earlier a German high tech company which became very successful. They exported (and still export, but my friend is now retired) their highly sophisticated machines in Europe, USA and Far East, which became their main market.

One day, he came back after a rather long trip to Far East. I was sitting in his office and asked him why he looked somewhat worried (with me, he was usually rather relaxed - both of us liked and used to make some silly fun together); "Daniel, you know from where I am coming back - I am really worried - the Asians work hard, learn fast, are dedicated and brilliant - we have no chance in the future! The sole solution is that you and me transform the castles of Versailles and Neuschwanstein in high level hotels in order to be able to earn a living". Of course, he was joking, but ...

"(i could name plenty)" - I would be interested by your ideas on the matter - but if the bulk of them consists in hiring additional civil servants to implement the ideas, I am less interested.

[azloon]

Dominique --

it seems to truly offend you to think that someone who isn't feeling genuinely euphoric should bother to smile, or be pleasant with, any another human being. you've mentioned it so many times on this blog i would call it your mantra if you didn't have so many other screwball, gloomy notions of proper human conduct. for you, apparently, any act of kindness between strangers involving commerce of any sort falls into the category of calculating mercatilism.

where does this glum view of life come from? does it extend to other realms of human relationships? would you attempt to smile at a dying relative, or friend, if you were visiting them in hospital, and you had not had a particularly uplifting day.? or would you feel that "honesty" demanded that you snarl and frown at this helpless, suffering human soul for the sake of some imaginary integrity on your part?

it's folks like you that make parents reluctant to send their children off to university to be exposed to the toxic attitudes that seem to be part of your m.o. you could use a thorough fumigation.

[Southern Belle]

Wait, wait, France....when Americans from Louisiana come to France, we want what we eat at home...frog legs, crayfish, prawns, cream,butter,gumbo,bisques,1 or 2 sauces on everything, preferabley cooked in wine.My last Parisian waiter was irritable, impatient and refused to speak a word of English, y'all, but when I said, I am married to a Louisiana Frenchman and he is just like you....crabby,... he replied in perfect English, " you just have to learn to put up with it".

[Peter Athey]

Dear Robert

I am not going to comment on the content of your critique of Dominique, (Robert Marchenoir | 18 Sep 2007 21:34:23) but would just like to congratulate you on your style of writing, and, most of all, on your English. We have met so I know that you are 100% french, yet your english is so astonishingly fluent and your arguments presented in such a cogent way, that I am in total admiration at your mastery of, what is, when all said and done, for you, a foreign language. I have lived in many countries and have met many people who speak lots of languages, but have rarely, if ever, met someone with your mastery of the written language.

Félicitations.

[Lilly]

Daniel, Terry, I will thank you with this one:

there once was a waiter in paris
was asked what colour his hair was

his customer started to cough
while spooning the broth

as for the green - ‘t was only the froggy's

[peter kinsley www.peterkinsley.com]

Some years ago a regular correspondent in the letters column of what was then the New York Herald Tribune, Paris, with pithy comments on every topic under the sun, signed the letters Al Hix.* Another regular reader, Geoffrey Bocca, author, wrote in to say that he did not believe there could possibly by such a person, especially with a name like Al Hix. Many letters followed with the same opinion.
My recent suggestion that "Dominique" has been taken over by an imposter or a PRO for the Spanish Tourist Board (to attract tourists there by besmirching the name of Frenchmen and women devoid of "la politesse" makes me wonder if Dominique is real? Come on - own up, and let us see who you are: Full name, age and CV. Be brave. I hope you have a website!
* Al was real. So was his name.

[Dominique]

Southern Bell,

"My last Parisian waiter was irritable, impatient and refused to speak a word of English"

Why a hell did you want him to speak english? Wasn't that very impolite from you? Did it come to your mind that the man was first expecting an effort from you? After all, you are visiting.

This is so typical of the service culture "i pay, so i want him to do what i want" (for instance speak english). Not quite. You pay, and you get what you deserve, not what you want.

Of course, this means that people should accept some codes and stop believing they can just have what they want. These codes are called "politness".

Today's society is often facing this problem of an ever increasing individualism, in a "blingbling 50 cent" context : money is the only value left.

Those who want to be spocken in english have choice. They can go to "english spocken" restaurants, they also can go to english speaking countries.

That is really incredible. Would you blame some chineese waiter in a remote china zone for not speaking english? of course not. So why blame the french waiter? because he is french maybe....

Anglo American tourist sometimes have difficulties to understand that english is not (yet) the only language that every one should speak. I am sorry to inform you that English is not yet the official language in France and that you can still find people who either don't speak it, either don't want to speak it.

Sorry, Money can't buy everything. Neither does it allow you to be rude to waiters.

[Roger Goodacre]

As every well-travelled Frenchman knows, the 'gourmet capital of the world' is of course London.

It must be true: Gourmet magazine no less (with 1 million readers and 'the most powerful writers in north America') says so!

John Willoughby, Executive Editor, 'says London's restaurants proved a revelation to writers from the magazine'.

"We came to London because we had been hearing about great chefs and great products," he said.

"We were hoping to find good food, but we didn't expect to find so much of it. We were blown away.

"What London has that other cities don't right now is high-quality food at all levels. In every category, from comfort food to gastronomic experiments, we loved what we ate.

"When people ask me where to go I tell them 'London'. The glory days are back."

As a London resident with a French gastronomic upbringing, but unfortunately not an investment banker, most of this has passed me by. (What glory days??).

The quality of food in London has indeed improved noticeably, but this is still a sandwich culture. Good restaurants are for those with money to burn, although there are some that I can take foreign guests to with anticipation of pleasure, rather than embarrassment or bankruptcy.

Despite working in the tourism industry, I have yet to meet my first visitor who has come to England 'for the food'... But who knows.

As for eating in France, if you have a genuine interest in food, there's still nowhere better in Europe. Do your research and pick good restaurants, in whatever price category, and you'll get excellent service because the people love the food. I've been to a number of écoles culinaires (Lyon, Toulouse, Bordeaux, Paris) where large numbers of young people train from the age of 15 or 16 to cook and serve, and the standards and quality are very high (and you can get a very good value meal). As a result, France has a pretty big pool of well-trained and motivated cooks and serving staff, but probably not enough.

To make sure you get good service, I suspect it helps to have the right 'body language' in a restaurant, to know at least the basics of marrying food and wine, to order dishes that the restaurant specialises in - and not to give the wrong signals, which say that you're more interested in refuelling than enjoying your meal: such as filling up with baguette and butter and a bottle of wine before the food's arrived (regrettably a common habit among my compatriots), ordering a Coke with your plateau de fruits de mer, a glass of milk with your coeurs d'artichaut, or calling for a frothy café au lait with your cheese or dessert .

[rob D]

How silly. People are people and want good quality food, in a clean inviting place - perhaps somewhere special and enjoyable, with great service. Is it too much to ask for? France has an excellent reputation for doing most of that(may I add that the UK has been catching up rapidly), so why mess with a silly brochure fussing about one off experiences of national stereotypes?

[adam]

To be honest I'm not overly familiar with french cuisine, there are not really that many restaurants of french style in England nor indeed where I live here in Spain. On the whole food at home in England is pretty terrible unless you pay heavily for a nice meal, or eat at am indian, chinese, italian, thai, mexican etc etc restaurant. It is a myth to suggest English people like to eat badly however, I eat very well here in Valencia now or though I do hanker for the occasional pie! For me Italian food is the best food, so simple and tasty.

[rocket]

Dominique

"Why a hell did you want him to speak english? Wasn't that very impolite from you? Did it come to your mind that the man was first expecting an effort from you? After all, you are visiting.

This is so typical of the service culture "i pay, so i want him to do what i want" (for instance speak english). Not quite. You pay, and you get what you deserve, not what you want. "

You're so screwed up it's hilarious

[Terry]

Dominique:

You said:

"Sorry, Money can't buy everything. Neither does it allow you to be rude to waiters."

Why has money have to do with this conversation? You socialists are either so afraid of money or contemptable of it that it permeates all of your "thinking". Psychologists would call this "projection".

Most american tourists don't speak another language. We learn them in high school and college but you rarely get to practice the foreign language unless you go to that country. So, it's difficult to become fluent. Because England and American have had such a profound influence on the world, almost everyone learns english as a second language. So, when we go to other countries and go to tourist areas, we are fortunate that most people speak english as well. By contrast, if you did not speak english you would be lost in the U.S. That's just simple reality, Dominique. I know how that ruffles your French pride. Mais, c'est vrai.

You are right that it is wrong to expect the waiter to speak english. It is not too hard for someone to learn enough to order Je voudrais le poulet pour soixante-cinq euros, s'ilvous plait. Of course, when the reply comes back too fast in French, the customer will feel quite foolish. But if the waiter already knows english, it is quite rude for him not to reply in English. If someone came up to me in the states and asked me a question in French (that I could understand), I would do my best to help him out en francais si possible. To do otherwise, would be discourteous. Another concept you seem unable to grasp.

All of this, I might add has nothing to do with money. For you, and some rude waiters, it is just your displeasure of exactly where the French language sits on the totem pole.

BTW: In tuscany, I saw german tourists ordering in english. Even though germany and Italy are right next to each other, neither one spoke the other language. Why do you suppose they both spoke english and had to use that language to converse.

[azloon]

Dominique --

are bad teeth your problem, and so perhaps related to your defense of french incivility (no smiling required)? perhaps, you have no teeth (edentulous)?

there is help for you. and as a resident of the nation on earth with the best teeth ("WE'RE NUMBER ONE..WE'RE NUMBER ONE!!!) , i am willing to refer you to a restorative dentist who could help you regain a measure of confidence in the simple act of smiling (which you must have done as a child once or twice).

we're talking about the possibility of a life altering experience for you. and endorphins (see previous reference to study), lots of 'em.

joke about edentulism: my personal physician, a sensitive redneck from arkansas, told me he and his college buddies would often say their ideal girl friend would be an "edentulous nymphomaniac whose father owned a liquor store."

he also told me recently that he tells female patients that "dyspareunia is better than no 'pareunia at all." (ok, time to google).

[Dominique]

Terry,

"Why has money have to do with this conversation?"

I am surprised i have to tell you that money is the very purpose of the relationship between a customer and a waiter. Nothing to do with socialism what so ever.

Have you tried to get something at the restaurant without money? i am afraid it would screw up your relationship with the waiter... Money defines the client/provider relationship. When written down, that's called an order or a contract.

Regarding english spocken or not, thanks for reminding me that english is a world lingua franca nowadays. This is what i have tried to explain to you several posts ago. That leads to english speaking people believing they are home everywhere, witch is very often felt as "arrogance" in the non english speaking countries. I am not surprised you have difficulties understanding this.

Nothing to do with french pride (or everything to do with all non english speaking countries prides...as you want). What would you do if a chineese man went in your lawyer's cabinet and expect you to talk chineese?

Azloon, Robert,

I am sorry i do not speak english good enough and i don't get your posts. (and that's not being rude ;=))

[Daniel Strohl]

Peter Kinsley,

"but a little resto in the Orb Valley serves five flavours of sorbet and provides five spoons, so as not to mix the flavours. Beat that!"

I am not able to beat that, but there is a flavour of sorbet which I nevertheless highly recommend : sorbet au marc de Gewurztraminer.

Since we are talking about dessert, we had lunch a few days ago with a group of friends in a typical "ferme-auberge" in the very back-end of the Vallée de Munster. The meal was as usual very good but rather copious and there was not much space left for a heavy dessert. Therefore, we ordered Irish coffee (in an Alsatian restaurant!) - it was really excellent and was not served as a mere sample as it is sometimes the case...

[isobel]

Azloon - you might be onto something with your comments about an inability or unwillingness to smile and the state of one's teeth.The Figaro today has an article about the wide variety of toothpastes now available and how the French market is not as developed as those in the US and Japan.Apparently 1 million French people never brush their teeth.50% of French people spend less than 3 minutes a day doing so.57% of children under 5 have never brushed their teeth !And only 7% of French people brush their teeth 3 times a day.Hmm....

[Kanga]

I always cook good old fashioned English food for our French friends when we are there, THEY LOVE IT!!! Have also cooked, Indian, Chinese , Greek, Hungarian and Polish for them, they just love the varieties. Sadly, they do have some good dishes, but they just don't seem confident enough to vary their diet unless out somewhere!!! I always eat French in their homes and love their tradional dishes properly cooked, fantastic!!!!

[Terry]

"I am surprised i have to tell you that money is the very purpose of the relationship between a customer and a waiter."

Thanks for the newsflash. But the issue is what language people speak not money. The fact that the anglo is a customer is merely incidental. Money, Money, Money, all you socialists think about is money.

"What would you do if a chineese man went in your lawyer's cabinet and expect you to talk chineese?"

Well, no one has any business going into my cabinets no matter what language he speaks.

Did you mean "what if someone came to my office and expected me to speak chinese? I wouldnt care if I spoke chinese. I would speak to him and chinese and not give him a hard time.

[Robert Marchenoir]

"Azloon, Robert,

I am sorry i do not speak english good enough and i don't get your posts. (and that's not being rude ;=))" (Dominique)

How about lazy? (And that's being polite.)

[azloon]

Daniel -- i am hoping from your description of alsation mid-day meals that this is the only food you are eating during the day. do these places have small rooms where one can take nap after paying the bill? :)

Dominique i don't need to have you be any happier than you are. i must admit your misanthropic candor is a bit refreshing. and you certainly can't be the only parisian who feels as you do. otherwise paris would be a charming place to visit. :)

[peter kinsley www.peterkinsley.com]

In about 25 years in France, I recall only two meals which could be called bad. In Spain you ordered and had to ask for a spoon for the soup. When the main course came, you asked for the missing wine, and then for pepper and then for mustard and the wine came with the dessert, and you longed to be back in France where a practised eye looked at the table to ensure there were knives, forks, spoons, salt, pepper, mustard, oil, vinegar and a carafe of water.I recall one night in a Grand Cafe in the Herault where 14 customers ate, celebrating, and the young waitress (about 16) reeled off 12 flavours of ice-cream. Each diner ordered three different flavours and she wrote down the combinations of the 36 ices and everyone was happy. She smiled and laughed when some of the men ordered fruit de passion with a wink of the eye. That's the difference between amateurs and professionals. Vive la France!

[Maggie G]

Dominique, I would LOVE to meet you! You can't be half as grouchy as you pretend to be.

Some people just smile because they're basically good-natured and cheerful. They don't make a decision about it every time -- it just comes naturally, and is perfectly sincere.

What if the customer is pleasant, polite, undemanding, speaks the local language and cleans up his plate. Should the waiter smile, and if so, starting when?

Here's a story that should make you smile.
We lived in Madagascar for a few years, a very poor country where most of the people in the street were barefoot. But they were a very friendly people and we loved living there.

We were invited to the wedding of the secretary from the office where my husband worked. At the wedding supper, after the first course all the people at our table stacked up the dirty plates and passed them down to the end of the table to make it easier for the waiters, who were very busy.

The second course arrived -- but no clean silverwear. We all sat there for a moment looking at the pile of dirty knives and forks that we had passed to the end of the table. Then, I remember, the chauffeur was the first person to react. He gingerly picked a dirty knife and a dirty fork out of the pile, and, one by one, the rest of us did the same, until the dirty silverwear was redistributed around the table. Then, with our second-hand utensils, we ate up everything in our plates.

All lived to tell the tale! We have been laughing about this incident for years now.

Veloma! (That's Malgache for good-bye.)

[Daniel Strohl]

Terry,

"Je voudrais le poulet pour soixante-cinq euros, s'ilvous plait".

Parisian poulet seems to be very hard to digest, Terry! You should rather visit "la province". There are plenty of reasonably priced good restaurants out there and many interesting things to look at or to visit.

Azloon,

You are a naughty boy; even if Dominique pretends that he does not understand your English (jokes), I am able to see him blushing ...

[Robert Marchenoir]

My, my, Peter Athey. Thank you, and glad to hear from you again.

But what have you done?

I will now have to cajole my banker in order to swap my boots for new ones two sizes wider, and I will be condemned to re-read and double-check my future posts till the end of times, for fear of betraying your praise.

[Monika]

My experience with French and their readiness to use English are not as bad.
Generally people will help you out in English as long as you show an initial effort to speak the language of the host country which is in my opinion what politeness towards the host nation commands.
I think no French expects a foreign tourist to have profound knowledge of French but they like to see that at least their visitors try. And here I am absolutely with them.

Politeness is reciproke. If one side does some effort the other side will very likely do so, too. Don't expect people to be polite to you if you are rude to them.

Another story is that very often waiters not necessarily have high school education and therefore very little foreign language skills -- if at all.

How many Americans and British speak another language at all?

[Southern Belle]

Ah, Dominique..... I must have been TOO subtle,or expressed myself poorly, since you missed the point(s)....1. I did not agree with what French restaurants were being told about American tastes. and 2) Regardless of an impatient and irritated waiter, or his English language skills , the bottom line is that we 'just have to learn to put up with it'. I thought that had candor and wit. Sorry. Southern Belle

[Andy]

Maggie Millington

why are there no national branches of Vietnamese resturants ? Why on earth would you want a chain of Vietnamese restaurants? Why on earth a chain of any type of restaurant. I too live in France, and the town were i live caters to the tourist so much that it is difficult to eat a decent local speciality. What about cous cous and merguez, have these not been embraced from their colonies?
There is a large movement of inovative modern food in France, which is based on the classics, and rightly so As they are n't classic for nothing!

[Ray White]

I have absolutely no problem eating in France. I have never encountered the kind of issues raised - I tend to use the French restaurants run by the 'new' French. As opposed to the 'old' French, these restuarants are run by brilliant chefs who are Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, or Algerians. And not infrequently have service personnel who are not 'old' French. My all-time favourite is the Virgules in Paris run by a highly qualified Chinese-Cambodian chef (with proper 'old' papers) and his family: it was early evening when a group of friends and myself were turned down at every restaurant nearby (snobbily) for being too late for their kitchen (8:30!), this little restaurant looked after everyone in the queue, served very courteously and provided excellent food at decent price.

Pierrick: "Where are the "gastronomiques" restaurants in Britain? I mean local ones?" Just go to any country pub and you'll usually find what you want - steak & kidney pie or pudding (= with dumplings), thinly cut roast beef + yorkshire pudding +roast pôtatoes, kedgeree (sorry, spelling) , smoked haddock with egg on top, cornish pasties, toad in the hole & could go on for pages - but am getting hungry & am going to my parisian larder to get out some ginger and/or digestive biscuits, lyle's golden syrup, coleman's mustard - not Heinz baked beans, I'll give you that ..........

[azloon]

FRANCE AND FOOD

the photo on top of this blog 'says it all:' the french invented, and have elevated to high art, the practice of placing of a miniscule portion of food onto the middle of a gigantic platter, basically surrounded by nothing except perhaps for a single green bean, an asparagus stalk, or a sprig of parsley. my first reaction, upon having this display shoved in front of my face is: this stuff better be goddam wonderful because there certainly isn't enough of it.

this practice goes back at least to the 1940s when i first encountered french food in the u.s. it may go all the way back to pre-french revolution for all i know -- "let them eat very small portions on very large plates so they can never forget how hungry they really are, and how little i care," marie might have uttered to no one in particular.

my francophile mother adopted this annoying french practice in our home, the effect of which was that i could never invite friends over to dinner at the last moment because she had figured the microscopic portions so carefully there was barely enough for her own family, much less for anybody else. the upside here: the food tasted wonderul what little of it there was ("always leave them laughing?")

fast forward to my marriage to a lovely serbian-american, her grandparents from montenegro, and suscriber to the powerful superstition that if a guest leaves your house hungry, they will not attend your funeral. don't laugh. this notion is as deeply held as any tenet of religious faith i have ever observed.

the result: we always needed two refrigerators to store all the leftovers from our dinner parties which allowed us to gradually dispose of food over a period of a week or two, as penecillan and other potential life-saving molds formed all over it. it wouldn't all fit in the single garbage can on our street, so it was a two or three week proposition to get rid of it all.

initially, i tried to convince my wife that preparing half as much (and thus throwing away half as much food) might be a better idea, with a more than a suffiently high margin of error in case unexpected guests, or of an extremely elevated hunger level of our guests (e.g. they had all just returned from roaming the deserts of ethiopia for no particular reason other than knowing they were soon coming to our house to eat). it was no use.

the benefit here: i could invite anyone i encountered anywhere, anytime to come to dinner at our house with no concern whatsoever about having enough food. and my wife loved it when i did. in fact, i sometimes invited total strangers to eat with us, which made me feel charitable, but was really about helping reduce the quantity of leftovers.

another result of all this is that thanksgiving at our house (a november american holiday) has become a sort of upscale salvation army, with anyone with no other place to eat coming to our house. i have usually not met more than half the guests seated at my table. they are related to our friends (mothers, cousins, uncles), live next to, a friend from astrology class, visiting foreign student from australia, etc., etc. and our friends know they can bring anyone they wish, at the last moment, and it won't cause a stir. there is more than enough food (we send alot of it home with our guests in platic baggies), and i usually have twenty or so new people to say hello to on the streets.

i have a hard time imagining this sort of gathering in france, though i would be delighted to find out this is common. i just wonder where all the food would come from.

[Neil]

Monika, quite a lot of Americans and Brits nowadays do speak foreign languages (unter anderem auch deutsch). Thirty years ago that was not the case, but things have changed. As for the French official attempt to encourage restaurateurs to be more accommodating towards foreign tourists, at least during the Rugby World Cup, I imagine they have taken due note of the very successful "be nice to our foreign guests" campaign in Germany during the last soccer World Cup. This kind of thing is to be encouraged rather than seen as an erosion of French national pride, which is quite capable of looking after itself.

[azloon]

Monika -- i usually agree with much of what you say, but your comments about accomodations made by french "wait staff" to non-french speakers is quite simply wrong in my experience.

one would think the most popular tourist destination in the world would have encouraged it's restaurant workers to spend a little time, and take some pride, in trying to be helpful to speakers of what's emerging as the world's language. it obviously hasn't happened, and given the "Dominiqifacation" of the country, it's not about to happen. oh well. tough shit, i guess.

yeah, it would be great if more americans spoke decent french but they don't, and they're not about to learn, so let's just drop that whole line of supposition.

my tactic: be as rude and intrusive with them as they are rude and elusive with you. if you are being ignored, and see them in the back of the restaurant smoking gauloise, go back to them, stand directly in their face, and demand attention. if they continue to ignore you, start bugging the waiter at the tables near you, complaining about his colleague. leave no disruptive stone unturned.

passive-agressiveness needs to be challenged with highly confrontive tactics.

[Daniel Strohl]

Maggie G,

Your story made me smile also. I have like you very good memories of Madagascar, where I made several calls in the merchant navy - it was in 1960.

I remember having had a talk on the Tamatave market with a young and charming lady. She said to me : You are in the merchant navy ? You are a lucky man, since not only you travel, but furthermore you are paid for that! She was right -

I remember a Malgache expression : "tsi mich" (il n'y en pas, il n'y en a plus - if I am not mistaken)

PS : you used the word "grouchy" with Dominique. This is funny, because a Général Grouchy commanded a French army kept in reserve near Waterloo. Napoléon was expecting its intervention in the battle, but Grouchy did not move.

If his army had moved, may be British tourists would now disembark at the gare de Waterloo in Paris instead of French disembarking at Waterloo station in London ...

[Lilly]

Azloon,

very interesting. So that is where all your money goes, hmm. Sh**, isn't it?

Nice having a lot of friends, though.

BTW: What was you address again? Hope it's not too late for those early bird flight specials. -

Ehm, we're seven (7). Shall we pack our sleeping bags or will you provide everything?

lol lol lol

[Dominique]

Robert,

After I got back to your message (the one I could not understand at first sight), it came to my mind that we probably never experiment the same things and live in different worlds. I felt like you live in a world where waiters are rude and never say “bonjour” to clients. I have never seen such waiters. I have more often seen customers who just do not say bonjour to the waiter and order straight in English. We probably have two different definitions of the word “politness”.

Terry,

“Money, Money, Money, all you socialists think about is money. » Amazing! We usually read quite the opposite : socialists are supposed to have no clue about money and budget! We usually read more often here “Money, Money, Money, all you capitalists think about is money.”

Well, Terry, money is part of reality and defines the bases of all commercial relationships. Smiles come second. Get used to it.

Maggie,

Grouchy ? Why that? Should everyone spend his entire live with a smile on his face? . By the way, what if the waiter just does not want to smile even though a “perfect French speaking american tourist” is seating? Does he still deserve to live?

Azlon,

“it seems to truly offend you to think that someone who isn't feeling genuinely euphoric should bother to smile » Well, you said it! For you people need to “bother” to smile! Quite the opposite of my definition of a smile. If you don’t feel like smiling, just don’t. More, what is the meaning of a smile if everyone just smiles “by default”? hapy face every one! We live in Disney land!

“where does this glum view of life come from? » what glum? A world of smile looks like the movie The Truman Show with Jim Carrey. A nightmare to me. Where does this “must smile” view of live come from?

Your tactic may be hard to swallow for anglo American tourists who just can’t help smiling… You’ll have to make some rehearsal . Please don’t change, we’ll take you as you are...you should do the same with French waiters. After all, I’m sure you would not like it if they changed. All tourist love to hate them...

By the way, I was very much interested to discover that your disconfort with "frenchness" comes from your own problems with you francophile mother.

Thank for your honesty

[azloon]

Lilly --

Thanksgiving is Thursday, November 22 (44th anniversary of JFK's assassination).

prescott, az is 100 miles north of phoenix, so i will arrange to have you picked up at the airport and brought up here.

please plan to spend wednesday through sunday at a minimum. big dinner is thursday afternoon/evening, with a party friday night at my golf club .

i will arrange sleeping accomodations for the seven of you nearby although my house is likely spoken for -- kids, grandkids, and the like. so sleeping bags unnecessary.

incidentally, who are you? where do you live?

you have no way of knowing that i am NOT kidding. but i'm not.

honestly, i have had thanksgiving dinner guests who i had less of a connection to than being a fellow CB blogger. and it turned out nicely.

robfur@mac.com

:)

[Maggie Millington]

Dominique.

I have been coming to France for 40 years & lived here for 13.
I know the coast of Normandy & Brittany through sailing , have travelled through the centre , & skied here.
So when I say French cooking is still only French French or French it's what I have found. Where are the good ethnic resturants, I don't mean the second rate French copy.
Once we were all excited finding a Chinese resturant in the next town to mine, the decor was as expected, the menu ? crepes & French dishes.
Crepes, are not Indian, Chinese or Thai,.
Where are the decent take aways ? Where are the deliveries of take away's ?
Before anyone mocks a take away, let me say they are really refined now, & to have a delicious meal delivered to your home as a treat is a true luxury.
My son lives on the outskirts of Bristol in a small village, the meal we had delivered to us one evening was amazing, generous quantities, high quality,on time , 35 minutes to the door, £14 for 3 people.
The choice from this particular business was Chinese or Turkish.
The entrepreneurial spirit is lacking in France, had it been alive & well someone would have spotted this gaping hole & filled it.
The French people themselves would clearly welcome something different too, otherwise how do you explain the rise & rise of McDonalds? which are always packed out with French families.
I am not making any comparison to Paris.

[Maggie Millington]

Andy.

Cous cous & merguez ? you are joking ?

You think that is a delicious, healthy , meal ?

My standards are higher.

[PW]

Earlier this year, my wife and I visited Bayeux and ordered beef for lunch. It came out close to raw, whereas I normally eat well-done. HOWEVER, given my French was not up to asking for it to be cooked further, we ate our semi-raw beef, and it was ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS with the sauce that was provided, and it was very tender. As for cooking in la buerre, bring it on I say!

[Syrenia]

I am just flabergasted by this article !

I have been to the uk and grew up in France. For beeing someone who really loves cooking and healthy food, I can tell you that whoever wrote this article needs to review their sources !

The French cuisine is very rich (by rich I mean that there are lots of diversity, I am not talking about fat), inovative and healthy.

While I'm having the hardest time to find affordable and good quality food in the UK, you could easily buy great, fresh and really tasty vegetables and fruits in France and you would get them for nothing comparing to the prices in the uk...

I think that whoever did this critic of the French cooking, just did not go to the right place !

Both cuisines are interesting and got inspiration from other cultures ( In case they ignore it, France had colonies as well, England was far from being the only colonial country actually at the time...).

If you ask me, I would say that each cooking has its pros and cons. There is pretty much more than just a dish to define a cuisine.

Cooking is an art and the best thing to do is just really try and innovate... instead of just criticizing...

I don't believe the French resent the critics, what they resent is unjustified critics like these.

Warm Regards

Syrenia

[peter kinsley www.peterkinsley.com]

Azloon's fridge full of leftovers reminds me of Spain when I prepared a salad lunch in advance and met an American couple at the beach and invited them to eat on my terrace. When I took the bowls of salad and charcuterie from the fridge, the American looked at them and said: "My father used to creep down in the night and throw away any leftovers he found in the fridge."
I said: "If he had experienced British wartime rationing he would not have done that."
PS: I still scrape the margarine paper.

[peter kinsley www.peterkinsley.com]

P.S. for A-Z Loon
Click on the picture, enlarge it and observe: Highest quality ground beef, egg yolk, and on the side of the big plate: some chopped onion. Smile at the waiter, point and say: "Voulez vous?" Or "S'il vous plait?"
"Bien sure, Monsieur" he will say with a smile, and then perform a minor miracle with capers, Dijon mustard, the onion, oil and lemon, mashed with a fork and VOILA: Steak tartare a la Francaise.
Then you may, if you wish, put some of those "French fries" and lettuce on the space left on the "oversize plate"
On the other hand, you could miss a meal or two and give the money to Oxfam.

[Reality Jane]

------------------------------------------------------
FRANCE : The following advisory for American travelers heading for France was compiled from information provided by the US State Department, the Central Intelligence Agency, the US Chamber of Commerce, the Food and Drug Administration, the Centers for Disease Control, and some very expensive spy satellites that the French don't know about. It is intended as a guide for American travelers only.
------------------------------------------------------

General Overview

France is a medium-sized foreign country situated in the continent of Europe. It is an important member of the world community, though not nearly as important as it thinks. It is bounded by Germany, Spain, Switzerland and some smaller nations of no particular consequence and with not very good shopping.

France is a very old country with many treasures, such as the Louvre and EuroDisney. Among its ontributions to western civilization are champagne, Camembert cheese and the guillotine.

Although France likes to think of itself as a modern nation, air conditioning is little used and it is next to impossible to get decent Mexican food. One continuing exasperation for American visitors is that the people willfully persist in speaking French, though many will speak English if shouted at. As in any foreign country, watch your change at all times.

The People

France has a population of 54 million people, most of whom drink and smoke a great deal, drive like lunatics, are dangerously oversexed, and have no concept of standing patiently in line. The French people are in general gloomy, temperamental, proud, arrogant, aloof, and undisciplined; and those are their good points.

Most French citizens are Roman Catholic, though you would hardly guess it from their behavior. Many people are communists, and topless sunbathing is common. Men sometimes have girls' names like Marie, and they kiss each other when they hand out medals.

American travelers are advised to travel in groups and to wear baseball caps and colorful trousers for easier mutual recognition.

Safety

In general, France is a safe destination, though travelers are advised that, from time to time, it is invaded by Germany. By tradition, the French surrender more or less at once and, apart from a temporary shortage of Scotch whisky and increased difficulty in getting baseball scores and stock market prices, life for the visitor generally goes on much as before.

A tunnel connecting France to Britain beneath the English Channel has been opened in recent years to make it easier for the Government to flee to London.

History

France was discovered by Charlemagne in the Dark Ages. Other important historical figures are Louis XIV, the Huguenots, Joan of Arc, Jacques Cousteau and Charles de Gaulle, who was President for many years and is now an airport.

Government

The French form of government is democratic but noisy. Elections are held more or less continuously, and always result in a run-off. For administrative purposes, the country is divided into regions, departments, districts' municipalities, cantons, communes, villages, cafes, booths, and floor tiles.

Parliament consists of two chambers, the Upper and Lower (though, confusingly, they are both on the ground floor), whose members are either Gaullists or communists, neither of whom is to be trusted, frankly.

Parliament's principal preoccupations are setting off atomic bombs in the South Pacific, and acting indignant when anyone complains.

According to the most current State Department intelligence, the President now is someone named Jacques. Further information is not available at this time.

Culture

The French pride themselves on their culture, though it is not easy to see why. All their songs sound the same, and they have hardly evermade a movie that you would want to watch for anything but the nude
scenes. And nothing, of course, is more boring than a French novel.

France was discovered by Charlemagne in the Dark Ages. Other important historical figures are Louis XIV, the Huguenots, Joan of Arc, Jacques Cousteau and Charles de Gaulle, who was President for many years and is now an airport.

Cuisine

Let's face it, no matter how much garlic you put on it, a snail is just a slug with a shell on its back. Croissants, on the other hand, are excellent, though it is impossible for most Americans to pronounce this word. In general, travelers are advised to stick to cheeseburgers at leading hotels such as Sheraton and Holiday Inn.

Economy

France has a large and diversified economy, second only to Germany's in Europe, which is surprising because people hardly work at all. If they are not spending four hours dawdling over lunch, they are on
strike and blocking the roads with their trucks and tractors. France's principal exports, in order of importance to the economy, are wine, nuclear weapons, perfume, guided missiles, champagne, high-caliber
weaponry, grenade launchers, land mines, tanks, attack aircraft, miscellaneous armaments and cheese.

Public Holidays

France has more holidays than any other nation in the world. Among its 361 national holidays are 197 saints' days, 37 National Liberation Days, 16 Declaration of Republic Days, 54 Return of Charles de Gaulle
in Triumph as if he Won the War Single-Handed Days, 18 Napoleon Sent into Exile Days, 17 Napoleon Called Back from Exile Days, and 112 France is Great and the Rest of the World is Rubbish Days. Other
important holidays are National Nuclear Bomb Day (January 12), the Feast of Ste. Brigitte Bardot Day (March 1), and National Guillotine Day (November 12).

Conclusion

France enjoys a rich history, a picturesque and varied landscape, and a temperate climate. In short, it would be a very nice country if it weren't inhabited by French people.

The best thing that can be said for it is that it is not Germany.

A Word of Warning

The consular services of the United States government are intended solely for the promotion of the interests of American businesses such as McDonald's, Pizza Hut and the Coca-Cola Corporation. In the event
that you are the victim of a crime or serious injury involving at least the loss of a limb, report to the American Embassy between the hours of 5.l5 am and 5.20 am on a Tuesday or Wednesday, and a consular official who is supremely indifferent to your plight will give you list of qualified dentists or something similarly useless.

Remember, no one ordered you to go abroad. Personally, we always take our holidays at Miami Beach, and you are advised to as well.

[Lilly]

To: ALL NATIVE SMILERS AND NON-SMILERS

Keep Smiling

Smile
When you are happy
When you are honestly happy
Show your sadness
When you feel honestly sad

Sounds quite sober

Smile
Although you feel sad
Or angry or upset
Smile
Be polite
Politeness will always come with a smile
Your mom told you so
That’s what you do
And expect of others

Not to show ones true feelings
Isn’t being dishonest
It’s being polite

If you’re miserable
Your smile might at least
Help make another one less miserable
And he will shine his own smile
Back at you
And you might forget about
Your sadness and your anger

Smile
Come on
That grin
It’s all fake
These people are liars
Who would trust them

Smile
No
Be serious, in all honesty
In case of doubt
Prefer seriousness
Seriousness also is:
I take you seriously
I respect you
I don’t mock at you
Better show not
How happy you really are
You don’t want to be a liar, do you?

Smile
Oh no!
How can you be so sure
Of that happiness anyway?
One minute you’re happy, you smile
Someone might
See the disrespect
Or envy you

And take your joy away

Smile
But only on the inside

You can’t buy happiness
You can’t buy friendliness*

Keep Smiling
From the inside out

* And you can't buy love

[Lilly]

“I will arrange to have you picked up at the airport and brought up here.”

AZLOON:

Thank you for the seriousness of this kind gesture of hospitality. The number of 7 (seven) additional invitees hasn’t put you off. Well -- I must admit I was only joking though it should be nice to spend a birthday on Arizonian Thanksgiving having a huge nation around celebrating (with) me. I am not Madame Royal. I know that I am just nobody. I know that I know nothing. (smile…)

BTW: Next year I’ll gladly reconsider the invitation.

[azloon]

Peter Kinsley --

i too prefer not to throw away food (hence the dinner invitations to strangers during my marriage). but a six-month supply of soggy mosticolli is too much even for me (many american serbs serve turkey with mostocolli, not dressing).

if you read carefully my post about french food, you'll notice i wasn't criticizing its quality. it was more about quantity, at least in my home, and insofar as not being able to invite my 11-year-old friends over to dinner on a moment's notice (in the u.s., young friends are constantly asking their parents if so-and-so can stay for dinner). my mother was a wonderful cook, and her emphasis on quality, as is the custom in france, is now mine. i actually find plates crammed with piles of starchy 'blech' a little disgusting, and prefer the large, nearly empty plate with it's tasty centerpiece.

i stand by my comments about obnoxious french waiters. fuck 'em if they can't take the heat.

--------------------------

Dominique --

let's agree to disagree about smiling. :o)

(having just read CB's blog piece about the high level of distrust by french of their fellow countrymen, i think i may now understand why many of you would feel unsafe about smiling. that seemingly nice neighbor of yours?? she may actually be trying to steal a welfare check from your mailbox. please, don't take any chances. and by all means, oppose any changes proposed by wild-eyed sarko.

re my mother

i'll have to engage my freudian analyst in a discussion about my francophile mother and my current reaction to frenchness. as you may know, the freudian analytical process can be quite extended, so i may not be getting back to you on this subject for several years.

[Robert Marchenoir]

"Passive-agressiveness needs to be challenged with highly confrontive tactics."

I had never thought about that, Azloon, but now that you mention it, it sounds obvious.

I once deliberately went postal in a restaurant which sported a particularly perverse passive-aggressive waiter.

I got what I wanted.

Ah! and the restaurant closed soon afterwards.

[Daniel Strohl]

Reality Jane,

Very funny indeed, Calamity Jane ! I will have a look at equivalent French sources to make a similar compilation for you and our fellow bloggers. A propos sources - we also do have spy satellites, but unfortunately, they are known to the NSA (which however have omitted to inform the CIA and the President).

Maggie Millington,

"The French people themselves would clearly welcome something different too, otherwise how do you explain the rise & rise of McDonalds? which are always packed out with French families".

One of the reasons why McDonalds are packed out(?) with French families may well be that one may consider the meals (i.e food) as being pretty cheap, provided one does not attach too much importance to basic food quality and taste - for example, the pommes frites could be better; another reason is that kids like the atmosphere - in a standard restaurant, they have normally to behave properly or at least should.

Regarding couscous, may be you have never been in a good restaurant using good products (fresh vegetables etc.) to make a real couscous "dans les règles de l'art".
If it is the case, it is a pity ...

[azloon]

Robert --

congratulations on 'bringing down the house.' probably was on its last legs anyway.

how do you make a hormone? don't pay her. (it's about homonyms and tangentially related to french waiters)

if i were exposed to parisian waiters on a regular basis, i suspect i'd risk arrest and withhold 'le service' from the bill if and when the waiter had delivered an unsatisfactory perfomance. dare him to call les gendarmes. try to get him to 'moan,' if you will.

it just occurred to me that so many french 'wait persons' (american PC) are male. any good reason? are there as many obnoxious female wait persons?

Azloon: Enlarge the picture at the top: It is not a "large empty plate" but look carefully and see that it has depth. That is so that either the customer or the waiter has space to mix, with a fork, the yolk, onion, mustard, capers, oil, Worcester sauce and/or tabasco according to taste (I always left it to the waiter, usually an expert) Note the side plate of pommes frites and salad and the other silver elevated dish.
The grandfather of the American whose father threw food out of the fridge had picked up a whole optics factory when Hitler started his barbarism, and transported it to America. The members of the family who did not go to the United States paid their one-way tickets to the SS for the journey to Poland.
The only point is: to waste food is a c r i m e.
The obese Brits and Yanks ought to form a club: OXGLUT: Stuff yourself with as much food as