France serenades the awful English

Alain Chamfort, a French singer song-writer, came up with a good observation about the contrasting mentalities on each side of the Channel. The French, he said, cannot stand the law but they respect authority. The British respect the law but cannot stand authority. Anyone who knows both countries would agree. The French hold the highway and tax codes in low esteem unless gendarmes and inspectors are around. They do not treat the state or its president with the contemptuous irreverence that Britons apply to Tony Blair and his nanny Government. 

Chamfort's line was quoted by Philippe Meyer, a radio commentator of the old-fashioned school who broadcasts an elegant Saturday morning show on France Inter called La prochaine fois, je vous le chanterai (The next time I'll sing it for you). His musical theme this weekend was the eternal love-hate relationship between France and Britain, or more precisely England. (You can listen to it on http://www.radiofrance.fr/chaines/france-inter01/emissions/prochainefois/). Meyer started with the obvious point that cross-Channel feelings are mutual.  "The habits of the English annoy us as much as they intrigue us, which is about the same amount as they inspire our admiration. We suspect them of being even more arrogant than us." 

Meyer used pop songs of recent decades to illustrate France's modern mental image of Britain and its people. Most purveyed the standard pop view of an exotic nation where the French fall in love with the eccentric and charming locals. Typical is Sylvie Vartan's wistful lament to a past affair in her 1970s hit Il pleut sur London. The same clichés of an imaginary London can be found in a recent hit by Vincent Delerm, a young singer-writer, called Kensington Square. The opening, with its misnamed geography, is typical of France's make-believe England: You borrowed your  Dad's pale blue Bentley... you drove down Oxford Avenue and headed for Kensington Square...  These songs, Meyer pointed out, illustrate the paradox in France's view. Les anglais are held by the French to be unattractive and pathetic lovers yet the French fantasise about amorous adventures on the other side of La Manche. Some artists, such as Jane Birkin, France's favourite petite anglaise, have even made their entire careers playing to this stereotype.

One of Meyer's tracks, by Charlelie Couture, a satirical song-writer, was rude but useful as a summary of the natives' view of the Brits who descend on France for their holidays. Here are a few lines from his Les anglais en vacances:

The English on holidays
Have white skin on their thick freckled legs.
Their wives are old-fashioned
They look too pale and sickly
In their heavy long wooly skirts.
Even their stockings are dull. 

The English on holidays
Are always nice and polite
Like big teenagers going through puberty

They are clumsy drivers
Always afraid
of the lorries, bends and mountains
Of the roads of France......

There follow the usual references to cricket, bad teeth and making fools of themselves in French restaurants.  Delerm's song says everything about the Gallic desire to feel superior towards a race that, as Meyer pointed out, France greatly admires. Some of the image, like the sense of fair play,  is wildly out of date. Meyer extolled the long lost virtue of good manners.  "Le gentleman is the most sympathique character that the human race has invented so far in its evolution," he said. "English manners create an oasis of indifference in a troubled world. Les hommes se detestent. Les anglais s'ignorent" (People hate one-another. The English pay no attention to one-another).

Comments

[Craig McGinty]

I also think the French have a respect for the British tendancy to get out and discover places.

Although many French people wonder why the Brits head over to buy rundown properties, I think deep-down they wish they had the nerve to do similar themselves.

Whether it is somewhere in their own country or further afield.

I think they say Chapeau! to many Brits for having the courage to try things out, and not worrying about the consequences.

[Robert Marchenoir]

Teenagers going through puberty are always nice and polite? There you are! That's the proof that Charlélie Couture's song is pure fantasy; just poetry; nothing to do with nasty feelings towards the Brits.

Actually, I've heard this song a million times, and I had never realized the meaning of the lyrics before your post.

That's because something is missing here: the music. Listen to it, and you realize this is a very sweet, gentle song. No offense meant.

[Sarah]

It's true that the British often look dreadful on holiday. Very self-conscious, too, perhaps as though they are aware of how awful they look and are trying to appear nonchalant.

The unattractive French just don't care what they look like, from what I've seen, and pollute the beach unashamedly.

[Victor Tan]

Why pick on the English with their freckled legs and pale skin? The French are no different, white and pale underneath. How do I know? I live with one for 13 years, and at every opportunity she takes her clothes off to get some colour.

The difference in colour tone is most marked in the summer as the French will take their clothes off in the sun without hesitation, while the English tend to keep theirs on.

The French may look glamorous on the beach, but have you seen them in the depth of winter? They are no different, except that they are better at putting up a facade.